- Tee Hee Johnson: "There are two ways to disable a crocodile, you know."
- James Bond: "I, uh... I don't suppose you'd care to share that information with me?"
- Tee Hee Johnson: "Well, one way is to take a pencil and jam it into the pressure hole behind his eyes."
- James Bond: "And the other?"
- Tee Hee Johnson: "Oh, the other's twice as simple. You just put your hand in his mouth and pull his teeth out."
- ―Tee Hee Johnson and James Bond[src]
Tee Hee Johnson, or simply Tee Hee, is an antagonist in the James Bond film and novel Live and Let Die. In the novel, he is a minor character and working for Mr Big. However, in the film, Tee Hee is portrayed as Dr. Kananga's brutal right-hand man and has a metal arm, replacing one which was bitten off by a crocodile named "Albert." The character is the secondary antagonist of the film and was portrayed by the late American actor Julius Harris.
Meets Bond the first time
Tee Hee accompanies Kananga to New York. After leaving the embassy, they are followed by James Bond. Aware that Bond is following them, Kananga sets a trap at his restaurant "Fillet of Soul". Luring Bond in, they capture him by aid of a hidden trap door. Bond is greeted by three armed minions of Kananga, who is disguised as gang boss Mr. Big. After Bond shortly talks to Kananga's medium Solitaire, Tee Hee enters the room. He asks Solitaire whether Bond is armed, what Solitaire confirms. Knowing he has no choice, Bond opens his jacket, expecting Tee Hee to simply take the gun. However, Tee Hee grabs the gun with the metal arm he has instead of a right arm and crushes the gun barrel, making it impossible for Bond to use the weapon further. With a big smile, he returns the gun to Bond. As Bond say : "Funny how the least little thing amuses him". The spy is then brought before Mr. Big, but eventually escapes.
The assassinations attempts
Returning to San Monique with Kananga, they are followed by Bond. Warned by Solitaire about Bond's arrival, Kananga sets a trap for Bond, with Tee Hee waiting for him at the end, ready to kill. However, Kananga's agent Rosie Carver is instead killed.
Later, Solitaire defects to Bond's side. She shows Bond Kananga's heroin fields, which Tee Hee tells Kananga.
Bond lands in a room in which he is greeted by Tee Hee, Mr. Big and Solitaire. Big tells him that by taking Solitaire with him Bond stole something extremely valuable from his good friend Kananga. Big then tells Bond that while he has plans with Bond, there is at first a question he needs to answer for Kananga. Bond replies that in that case Big had to ship him back to San Monique, as Bond wouldn't answer to lackeys. Though Big angrily asks Bond whether he touched Solitaire, Bond states that he will answer this question only to Kananga, intending to buy time.
However, Big reveals himself as Kananga and tells Bond his plan: to give away the heroin for free to drive the competitors out of business and doubling the amount of addicts, then selling the rest of the heroin for a fortune.
After having revealed his plan, he comes back to his initial question, whether Bond slept with Solitaire. When Bond refuses to answer out of gentlemanliness, Kananga intends to find out another way. He has Tee Hee rip off Bond's watch, which Tee Hee then brings to his boss. Kananga then tells him to snip off Bond's finger on Solitaire's first wrong answer, proceeding to more vital organs with every wrong answer. He then reads a registration number off the back of Bond's watch and asks Solitaire whether he spoke the truth. Solitaire, only able to guess, tells Kananga that he spoke the truth, and Kananga tells Tee Hee to let Bond go, even giving him back his watch. However, Bond is then knocked out by Tee Hee and Kananga orders him to bring Bond to the farm.
Bond is brought to a crocodile farm, which Kananga also uses to create his heroin. Tee Hee brings Bond to the outer parts, where he introduces Bond to the crocodiles. He lures the crocodiles closer by feeding them, thereby explaining to Bond the difference between crocodiles and alligators. He also shows Bond the alligator who bit off his arm, causing him to wear his metal prosthesis instead.
Having arrived on an island in the middle of the crocodile infested lake, Tee Hee leaves the rest of the meat there, as well as Bond. As the wooden bridge is dragged back by his henchman, Tee Hee tells Bond that there are two ways of disabling a crocodile, ramming a pencil in his eye or ripping out all his teeth with bare hands. Laughing gleefully, Tee Hee and the henchman then return to the building, leaving Bond to be eaten by the crocodiles. However, Bond escapes from the island by using the crocodile's backs as a makeshift bridge, jumping from back to back until reaching safety. To get revenge, Bond lures the crocodiles to the building, creating a lline of flesh for the animal's to follow. He also sets fire to the entire building. Tee Hee and most of the scientists inside escape the inferno. Tee Hee seen Bond escapes and he sent Adam, Hector, Evans and other henchmen after Bond, which results in a boat pursuit through the swamps of Louisiana. Eventually, Bond defeats all his pursuers and escapes.
Fighting Bond and Death
- "Mr. Bond. It's good to see you again."
- ― Tee Hee before his fight with Bond.